... addict ...
Ok, I'm addicted to a lot of things. Nothing new there.
Funny how I can be addicted to stuff which I haven't been having a lot of and am too ignorant to qualify as a fan, much less an addict. Must be that sense of knowing the deprivation that makes it all the more luring and addictive.
Addicted to anime although I haven't watched that many or even know of many. Addicted to manga despite having read only a couple of volumes and just completed 1 full series for the first time before. Addicted to good fantasy writers although I'm not much of an expert when it comes to reading books *ok, I admit I used to be called a bookworm but that's a time ago and was only an illusion to my peers, given the surroundings we grew up in*. Definitely addicted to certain type of foods during certain times. Shopping hasn't made it that far yet at the moment *thankfully* but is definitely queueing up on the waiting list.
Crap, I've got no self-control or will-power whatsoever.
Despite working late hours everyday, piling on the stress and kilos, I somehow still managed to read manga til 4am every night. Not even the rare sound of birds chirping in the ever gloomy grey London sky could stop me from reading the next page or move me to finally shut down my computer to rest. For the first couple of weeks this happened, it was still consolable by the fact that the manga was a good one. But one can't deceive oneself longer as the weeks went on. And especially when you're running out of quality fare to fuel your time away.
Fact is *and I was all too aware of it as always*, it's just a convenient form of denial. I'd always thought of addiction as part of the denial family. Whether it's the immediate family or not *short of looking up a dictionary*, the relation is obvious and can't be further than a 1st degree cousin at any rate.
Addicted. Running away. Immersing oneself excessively. Retreating inwardly, avoiding endlessly. Absolutely nothing less than denial.
It's nowhere near the same as bearing the weight of the world on one's shoulders. Not as though life and death lay within the decision in my hands. So...?
... too lazy to stop living in limbo, that's why.
p/s: It's been 2 years here already, though I can't say this is unexpected.
Tags
.me.myself.i.
2 comments:
Hi! It's been a while since I visited. I recently (like, yesterday) discovered this writer; I've read her fiction before, but I discovered one of her non-fiction books and I loved it. I wonder if you might also appreciate it. The author's name is Madeleine L'Engle and the book I read was Two-Part Invention. I think she started writing it as her husband of 40 years was dying in the hospital, so there are a lot of deep insights on marriage, but also about life in general. I think I'm gonna try the first book in that series called A Circle of Quiet. I'll let you know how it goes, but you might find it at your library too.
p/s- Thanks for wedding gift. Obviously highly appropriate :) We have official thank you cards that we need to get out. I'll thank you officially on one of them.
Amy
Sounds like a serious author :)
You're welcome, though it was severely delayed... not to mentioned that I posted the card a lot later -_-
How's life been?
Post a Comment